Boat People

My new best friend Alex Barrows mentioned during an otherwise interminable car journey that he liked my blog, and was sad I didn't write any more. So I'm going to make an effort to post something up here every now and again.

I don't usually like Bank Holidays. Maybe because the Spaghetti Monster in the Sky hates me, and arranges for me to be away on work trips, whiling away the tedium by flicking through Farcebook and seeing what a great time everyone else is having. Not this time however; this time I had the full three days free. Moreover it is looking as if my rotting connective tissue may be starting to re-knit, allowing me to start doing some actual climbing, as opposed to belaying and offering helpful abuse to fellow crag-dwellers.

HMS Marjory

The Diamond is a crag I've wanted to go to for ever and ever and ever. We tried a few years back, but my nameless partner refused to descend the sliding staircase gully to the handline. This time, inspired by Gus and his continuing adventures in HMS Smash!, I bought myself a dinghy and the wife and I launched boldly crag-wards. And what salty mariners we are! Admittedly, there were a few wrinkles; such as when we cocked up the launch and filled the boat and our rucksacks with brine. And when Jules angrily insisted my rowing instructions made no sense, so that we spent a good few minutes rowing in opposite directions and spinning like a top. Once these minor wrinkles were ironed out, however, we proceeded to the base of the crag at warp-speed, arriving half an hour after high tide. As the photo shows above, half an hour after a high tide of around 7.5m is a perfect time to access the base of any route - although you may be lowering off into the sea!

On the way home, Jules and I passed our time by pleasantly arguing about whether the Diamond qualifies as Britain's #3 sport crag (after Malham and Kilnsey, natch). Suffice to say we had a very good time. Conditions were OK, with a small amount of spooge which burnt off over the day. I would have loved to be on top form and get involved with some of the big rigs (that's what the kids say these days, isn't it?). Unfortunately, neither fitness nor injury allowed it. I did have a play on the Brute, which is very very good, but still too tweaky. However, the finger did allow me to nip up The Sting and Boat People, appropriately. This was enough to reveal that all my hard won fitness has completely vanished. Lots of hard work ahead, methinks!

Rhoslyn on Boat People. Seriously good thugging.

On Monday we went to Malham, which hasn't changed. A shout out to Ted for topping out Totally Free during what seemed at the time to be the coming of the apocalypse. And for working out how to get back down on a 70m rope. We're all chuffed he didn't die.