The unbearable dullness of failing

If the last blog post was a triumphant roar, this is a never-ending scream of agony. It's all gone horribly wrong.

Since my return from Chile I've had five sessions on Evolution, three in the best conditions I've ever had on the route. When I left it felt like a sure thing. Now, every session on it makes it feel further and further away. The problem is the first crux move - an awkward, painful rockover off a high right foot and a dreadful razors edge for the left hand. Even back in September I could do this move in isolation every go. On my last day before going away I climbed through this move from the ground five times in one day. Since my return I have got through it once. Even pulling straight on at the move I can only do it about one in three goes.

What has gone wrong? I don't feel weaker on the holds. If anything I'm stronger than before. But some block - physical or mental - has developed. The move is the first hard move from the floor, so each attempt goes womble, womble, slump. Womble, womble slump. Redpointing on the route now feels like banging my head against a brick wall. Luckily, I've got a pretty solid head from years of sieging - and I'm pretty sure the wall will break first.

Right now I'm trying everything I can to break down the block. I'm stretching out my hips and shoulders, trying different foot positions, getting myself angry on the move. Something will work eventually and I'll get up on the headwall once more. I can still do the route. But it's not the dead cert it once was and success relies on a triptych of good weather, the right training and a bit of luck. Which will make it all the sweeter when it comes...