Operation Grade Chase

8a. It's a grade. It's the grade, if we're honest. It's not 7b.nu is it? I've been slogging up the steep hill of progress for many years now. A few years back I reached a bright and sunny plateau, where on sighting 8a felt like the kind of thing I could do pretty regularly. I've never reached that beautiful spot since. But I've been slogging around the hillside some more since then and I reckoned I was ready to try again. So. 6 days. South of France. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to onsight every 8a you can find in the guidebook. This blog post will self-destruct in five seconds...

Day 1

Jurassic Park. Grade chase status: total failure. 

Our ex-pat hosts take us to meet other ex-pats Mike and Elaine Owen at their favourite crag. Everyone is english, just like the costa del sol. Don't even get on an 8a, but do fail to redpoint 8a+. Chapeau Monsieur Littlefair.

Day 2

Jurassic/Cayenne. Grade chase status: dismal failure.

More classic tufa action. I don't understand tufa. There seems to be jugs everywhere but I just end up getting massively pumped and baffled. More brits at the crag today, including Al Cassidy, who floats up Diplodocus (8a). He makes it look so easy I get on after him and totally balls it up. Redpoint yesterday's 8a+ to make me feel better. Go to nearby Cayenne; looks awesome. Fail to get on an 8a. 

Day 3

Deverse. Grade chase status: almost successful (i.e failed again)

Really psyched. Today is the big one. Deverse Satanique; the best 8a since they were invented. Snaky tufas snaking up a big overhanging wall. I'm so psyched for this one I watch videos of it all night, and bring them to the crag. Nothing's gonna stop me here. I pull on, cruise through the bottom and balls up the first hard move. I see a theme developing here. Balls up another 8a on the RHS, even though it would get VS in Cheedale. Not a happy bunny.

Day 4

St Martin Vesubie. Grade chase status: are you still even asking?

What an amazing crag. Really; it's completely incredible. Cool features. Enormous routes. Beautiful locations. There aren't any 8a's here. I don't even know why we came.

Day 5

Jurassic/Cayenne. Grade chase status: I'm so depressed.

Actually tried an 8a today. Fell off it.

Day 6 

St Cezaire. Grade chase status: YYFY!

This crag is British. It's got crimps and everything. Finally, finally I onsight an 8a. I think it's soft. It gets 7c+ in one guide. I'm taking the tick though. In fact, you couldn't prise the tick from my cold dead fingers. 

All in all a great trip. Thoroughly recommend the area to all looking to fall off 8as. One thing puzzles me. Every day we drove past the "Easy Love, Love shop". Looks like a classy establishment, but can any of my worldy wise readers tell me what the duck is all about?